I am very aware. . .

My little Tabs and my Mom. 2006.

Throughout the month of October my amazing sister Jessica has used her blog as a forum for various authors to detail how breast cancer has affected their life. You can view all of those entries here. They are all entitled P.i.P Feature.

Great idea, Juice.

Here is my submission:

It’s a strange thing that happens when you lose a parent. You feel as though your entire childhood dies along with them; that you lose that part of who you are. You suddenly realize all memories of growing up are peppered with the influence of that person. And it makes it you feel all the more empty when you look back on your own life.

How has my life been impacted by breast cancer? In November of 2008, breast cancer took my childhood. By taking my mom.

One thing cancer couldn’t take, however, is the invaluable lessons that came from that loss. Lessons of why I should be proud to be a woman.

Because my mom was a great one. A strong one.

At the age of 18 I moved away from home to attend college. Every morning before leaving for class I would read the small note affixed to the wall above my bedroom light switch: “For Mom.” It reminded me that being like my mom meant being courageous. To stand my ground. To be smart. To be grateful that I had the opportunity to recognize my dreams. To be appreciative for this educational experience. And, most importantly, it reminded me I was doing it all in the name of the woman who sacrificed a career and schooling so that I might pursue both.

I later watched as my mom fought through procedure after procedure to rid her body of the cancer. I saw her great positive outlook no matter the pain she suffered or the frustration she must have felt. Her example of dignity is one I will never forget.

I am indebted to her for showing me being a woman is something to find pride in.

Although I miss my mom, (every day) I am glad to have little reminders of her. I am grateful I have the bracelet she wore at every Susan G. Koman Walk for the Cure she attended. I am happy every time I randomly find a handwritten note she sent me in the mail. I feel comforted every time I cook the recipes she made me when I was sick.

All these things remind me of her strength, her love, and that because of her, I too am capable of great things.